The list of grievances leveled against Joseph is long. His father rebuked him at a very important moment in his life, when the youth had just heard from Almighty God. (Genesis 37:10) His brothers viciously hated him and sold him into slavery. In Egypt, he was purchased by Pharaoh's servant Potiphar, whose wife lusted after Joseph and tried to seduce him. When he rejected her advances, she lied about him and had him imprisoned. Even in jail, Joseph was forsaken.

    If a person ever had reason to doubt God, Joseph did. He was a dutiful son, honest in his work, and obedient to those in authority. Yet every time something good transpired, somebody wronged him. His life was marked by disloyalty, misfortune, resentment, ingratitude, and hostility.

    Can you relate to Joseph? Perhaps you have been unjustly wronged—maybe you were abused as a child or abandoned by a parent. Possibly a spouse has walked out on you after years of marriage. You may have been betrayed in a business deal or deserted by friends when you needed them most. Sometimes life seems to deliver one raw deal after another. Then, in our intense suffering, we ask ourselves, How could God treat me this way?

    It is in situations like these, when pardoning seems impossible, that we must open our hearts to the Lord and let Him show us how to forgive. Far too many people harbor an unforgiving spirit without realizing it. Instead of working through their pain, they attempt to hide and forget it. Meanwhile, a root of bitterness has taken hold and begins to gnaw away at their emotional base. Unless treated properly, every hurtful experience can lead to an unforgiving spirit that is able to corrupt all aspects of life.

    The believer's calling is not to deny or suppress hardship, but to prevail in its midst—suffering is a standard part of the Christian journey. Doesn't Scripture tell us not to think it unusual when we encounter pain and heartache? Peter said, "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you" (1 Peter 4:12).

    We have a choice in how we respond to affliction. We can be forgiving or unforgiving. The wise response is to forgive whether or not we feel like it. Feelings and forgiveness have nothing to do with each other—forgiveness is an act of the will.

    If we choose the road of unforgiveness, bitterness takes root. And out of that spring anger, resentment, and hostility. You may keep bitterness submerged for a while, but eventually it will trickle out little by little or it will erupt like a volcano.

    The consequences of an unforgiving spirit penetrate every facet of life—actions, attitudes, emotions, relationships, and spiritual growth. How can you claim Christ is Lord of your life if you cling to something diametrically opposed to everything He taught? To live with an unforgiving nature is to be a spiritual contradiction. You may have camouflaged it so far, but sooner or later, it will manifest itself in a way that is truly disheartening.

    God forgave you once and for all at the Cross, and nowhere in Scripture does He justify an unforgiving spirit—the resulting bitterness hinders our capacity to love and be loved, which thwarts successful relationships. Until you forgive, you will struggle with discontentment in life. Physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, one cannot afford the indulgence of an unforgiving spirit.

    The life of Joseph demonstrates what the fruit of forgiveness yields. Despite the isolation, imprisonment, and uncertainty brought about by others, Joseph was victorious because of his decision to forgive. He chose early in life to allow God the Father to heal his pain. We see in Genesis 39 how the Lord blessed his work while he was a slave: "Now his master saw that the Lord was with him and how the Lord caused all that he did to prosper in his hand. So Joseph found favor in his sight and became his personal servant; and he made him overseer over his house, and all that he owned he put in his charge. It came about that from the time he made him overseer in his house, and over all that he owned, the Lord blessed the Egyptian's house on account of Joseph; thus the Lord's blessing was upon all that he owned, in the house and in the field" (vs. 3-5).

    Had Joseph's disposition toward his father or brothers been unforgiving, he would have had a vindictive spirit which, in turn, would have made it very difficult to submit to those in authority. Instead, Joseph won the favor of both his master and the other servants—Potiphar gradually turned everything in his household over to this Hebrew slave, even trusting Joseph in the presence of his wife. It would have been impossible for a man in Potiphar's position to have such confidence in a man consumed with anger and bitterness. Furthermore, if Joseph had responded to rejection in a sinful way, he could easily have fallen into immorality with Potiphar's wife. But the young man's heart was pure, and that shone in his countenance and his actions.

    People loved Joseph. He was a godly servant about whom the Bible says nothing negative. He was totally misunderstood and vilely treated, and there is no defense for those who were cruel to him. What's more, there is no human rationalization for why God would permit one of His servants to be so wronged. Yet Joseph allowed the Lord to heal him when he was ill-treated, which is the reason God honored him. That is why people liked him and entrusted him with authority. That is why he was a success.

    Many of us respond to hurt in the opposite way—by embracing an unforgiving spirit. When we are wronged, our first impulse is to take a detour in order to avoid pain. We may try to ignore or bury it. We may totally deny it and convince ourselves we have moved on and forgotten all about it. But simply repressing something does not make it go away. In time, the poison of our pain will seep out into our life, causing us to experience defeat in our relationships.

    If we let the situation continue, we will become defiled by our own anger. First our attitudes and emotions, and then our physical body will experience the harmful effects of this poison. We may become discouraged or even depressed. Turmoil, anxiety, restlessness, and hopelessness will set in. Ultimately, our inner hostility will destroy us. But when we face our pain courageously, as Joseph did, we will see something quite different take shape in our life. God will actually take our grief and use it to strengthen us.

    If you are struggling with unforgiveness, God wants to deliver you. The Bible says we are to come before His throne boldly. (Hebrews 4:16) You must first acknowledge the hurt your unforgiving spirit may have caused others as well as the pain that was inflicted upon you.

    Come to almighty God, and repent of your unforgiving spirit toward that other person. Thank the Lord for bringing the matter to your attention and for paying your sin-debt in full at Calvary. Ask Him to instill within your heart the capacity to forgive. Depending on the circumstances, you may need to go to the people who harmed you and ask forgiveness for your attitude toward them—ask God to give you wisdom about this. Then choose to forgive them for what they have done, and accept by faith that you are releasing them.

    Regardless of what you may be feeling, the healing process begins at that moment. The key is found in Genesis 50:18-20: "Then his brothers also came and fell down before him and said, 'Behold, we are your servants.' But Joseph said to them, 'Do not be afraid, for am I in God's place? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good . . .'"

    God is righteous; He does not work in the life of His children with evil purposes. If He has allowed you to be deeply hurt, He will bring about good from your suffering. The important thing is to take your eyes off your offender and focus on the great purpose the Lord has for your life.

    Could it be the reason for some of your failures in life is linked to an unforgiving spirit? You can correct that today. Look at the Cross and remember the blood that Jesus shed for you. Confess your sin and thank God for His forgiveness. Release your unforgiving spirit toward someone—it may even be God—and by an act of your will, choose to forgive.

    Until you forgive the last person toward whom you have an unforgiving spirit, you will remain in prison. Will you release your grip on animosity, vengeance, and retaliation? Then God will do for you what He did for Joseph. He may not make you a prime minister, but He will cleanse you. He will also equip you to help others who desperately need to be shown the way out of a hurting, broken life.

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