A car stopped in front of the main building, the passenger door opened, and a young boy was pushed out, followed by a bundle of clothes. Then the car drove off, and the population at Big Oak Ranch increased by one.

    While the details are unique, the story is not atypical of the 1,500 orphaned, abused, neglected, and homeless youth who have been taken in at the ranch over the past 29 years. Quoting the sign at the entrance, founder John Croyle says, "'A Christian Home for Children Needing a Chance.' We're going to take your child, and we're going to give him a chance. If you don't think your child needs this chance, or your child doesn't want this chance, there's another [one] out there dying right now to have this chance you're getting ready to waste."

    Back in the early 70s, Croyle, a star defensive end for Alabama under coach "Bear" Bryant, was poised to enter pro football. Though he was a tough player, Croyle had a tender heart toward needy children, an attitude he ascribes primarily to two incidents. First, when he was a small child, he witnessed the tragic mishap that killed his younger sister. Secondly, as a teenager, he worked at a boys' camp in Mississippi, where he got a first-hand glimpse of kids desperately needing a real chance at life. One camper was the banker and timekeeper for his mother's "business"—prostitution. John talked to him about becoming a Christian, and the
following summer, when they met again, the boy repeated word for word what John had told him. At that moment, Croyle knew his life's mission.

    The plan was to use his earnings from pro ball to finance a ranch for hurting kids. However, Coach Bryant warned him not to play pro unless he was willing to "marry" the game. Croyle wasn't, so he gave up that dream to pursue his deeper one: "to create the best children's home in America—a place where abandoned, abused, emotionally scarred and broken kids could find a home, hope, and unconditional, no-strings-attached love."* As a single college graduate, he took five boys into his home—the same house where he would later live with his wife and family. Today, the Croyle children take after their parents: daughter Reagan and her husband John David are on staff at the ranch, and son Brodie, an Alabama football player, works there on school vacations.

    Croyle's passion for his work and love for the kids are obvious in his stories as well as in the physical plan and execution of the ranch. He points out, "We're not fancy; we're not slick. What you see is what we are." Then again, he won't skimp or cut corners. "It doesn't take much to do it right," he explains. He wants the kids to recognize that the way the ranch is built and run is an expression of how valuable each one of them is, and a reflection of the top-notch way our heavenly Daddy cares for us.

    The ranch is built and supported, not by federal funding, but by financial gifts and other types of donations. One benefactor gave 28 Arabian horses, and when he discovered there wasn't a barn to house them, he provided that too, though "barn" hardly describes the edifice. In addition to the usual stalls, there are washing booths, a birthing area with observation windows, a hay loft, and a spacious apartment on the second floor, where up to 40 kids can have a sleepover. Many of the children ride and tend the horses; one boy in particular has an affinity for the animals, and having access to them has totally changed his life.

Real families

    Actually, Big Oak is all about changing lives—by removing kids from painful, hopeless situations and giving them a chance at a more "normal" existence. Croyle says the ranch, whose name is a reference to the oaks of righteousness in Isaiah 61:3, is "just a neighborhood" where about 100 kids live. Each home family consists of two house parents and up to eight children (including their own) from age 6 to 18. There are 17 houses—number 18 is currently under construction—all having similar floor plans but unique decor and landscaping. Inside, they function as typical households, with chores, family mealtimes, and TV football games (especially when Alabama plays). In some ways, the family units may actually operate at a higher level than the average American home—group devotions are a regular part of the routine, and houses are left "guest-ready" every day before members head off to school or activities.

Real discipline

    With a family of 1,500 and counting, Croyle knows what kids need. "As parents, if we give emotional support, truth, security, and discipline, [we will] produce a thoroughbred, because God promised." So every new arrival to the ranch hears four things from him: "I love you. I will never lie to you. I will stick with you till you're grown. And there are boundaries; don't cross them."

    As John explains in his book Bringing Out the Winner in Your Child, "The key to setting realistic boundaries is teaching your children what is expected of them rather than simply punishing them when they cross invisible or unclear lines . . . Often the cause of [parents'] frustration can be traced to their unwillingness to set boundaries . . . until it is too late. They then react with surprise and horror at their child's unsatisfactory or unacceptable behavior . . . Consequently, the life of their child is spinning out of control."

    Croyle realizes rules will be tested. He also knows "love and discipline are two sides of the same coin; the two must go together." In his experience, depriving a child of some privilege is usually the most effective way to reroute attitudes and behavior, but he cautions against using any discipline unless motive and circumstances are thoroughly investigated. As an illustration, he mentions Joey, an eleven-year-old boy who stole and consumed an entire package of hotdogs. It came to light that, prior to arriving at Big Oak, Joey would sometimes go several days without eating; as a result it was almost instinctive for him to steal food. "Obviously," Croyle notes, "we did not discipline . . . in the same way we would have dealt with a mischievous vandal."*

    Originally, the ranch accommodated just boys, but that changed in 1988. An adolescent named Shelley had been severely abused by her father while her mother restrained her. The parents were prosecuted, but the judge sent the girl back to live with them. Croyle had begged for guardianship, arguing that if Shelley returned home, her father would kill her in six months. Now he muses, "I was wrong. The father beat her to death in three months." Out of that tragedy, the girls' ranch was born. Today, Shelley Drive, the main road to the welcome center, honors the teenager's memory while representing a path back to life for many girls in similar situations.

    People often ask Croyle if Big Oak is "successful." He is unsure how to respond since his purpose is not to impact the world, but to break the cycle and change life for one child at a time. A story he tells, however, is perhaps the best answer to the question. As a sophomore at the Christian school owned by the ranch, one of the girls from Big Oak was ecstatic to be voted a candidate for homecoming queen. At half time, she and the other court members lined up on the football field, accompanied by their fathers. As her house dad stood with her, he leaned over and said, "I sure wish your real dad was here." She looked him in the eye and said, "He is."

—Sandy Feit

*Bringing Out the Winner in Your Child, by John Croyle with Ken Abraham, Cumberland House.

To purchase Bringing Out the Winner in Your Child, please visit our bookstore
or contact your local In Touch office. For more information about Big Oak Ranch, visit its website www.bigoak.orgor call (205)467-6226.