Holidays often present a dilemma for me. I love to celebrate such occasions with big meals, lots of family, seasonal music, and gaudy decorations. But because we live far away from our relatives, I have often found myself setting the holiday table for just the four of us.

    However, that is nobody's fault but my own! Over time I have learned that there is more than one way to celebrate a holiday. While times with grandparents, aunts, and uncles are always cherished, the truth is, some of my favorite Memorial Days, July Fourths, and Thanksgivings have been shared with people who are not related to my family.

    Several Novembers ago we shared a Thanksgiving meal with a couple of empty nesters whose children were too far away to come home for the traditional turkey dinner. And when all our relatives were hundreds of miles from us on our son's first birthday, we invited a neighbor to join us for cake and ice cream. (Of course, we also asked her to operate our video camera!)

    At different times we have been the recipients of gracious invitations to join other families for their traditional festivities on Christmas, Independence Day, and Easter. Through these and other shared celebrations, we have learned new customs, enjoyed unusual and delicious meals, laughed at family nicknames, and created long-lasting relationships.

    Nothing means more to me than to be invited into such an intimate occasion as another family's holiday celebration. When their extended family is gathered around, people tend to let down all the walls and facades they normally erect. For instance, one summer we were invited to join some friends for their family reunion. That day we heard stories of silly childhood antics and nearly disastrous family vacations.

    We also had the privilege of experiencing their expressions of love and appreciation toward one another. In essence, we got to see what made this family tick.

    Perhaps your holidays are traditionally spent with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. However, in a day when so many people live far from their families, we desperately need to reach across those family boundaries.

Home for Christmas

    I recently spoke with a woman who has a number of relatives nearby, some even within her church. Yet each Christmas, she and her large clan purposefully invite a family that is new to their congregation to join their celebration. She told me this act of hospitality has become an important tradition for her family and a valuable way to build lasting friendships with new church members.

Cookouts and Football Games

    Maybe you're not positive you want to break tradition and invite someone to share such an intimate time as Christmas with you and yours. Consider getting your feet wet by being hospitable to another family on a lesser holiday. People without relatives close by are always pleased with an invitation to grill out on Memorial Day or to watch New Year's Day football. And Veteran's Day could take on new meaning for you and your children if you were to invite a veteran to lunch.

When Love Is in the Air

    Valentine's Day is a holiday that too often leaves people feeling excluded and lonely. Perhaps you could invite some unmarried friends or a single parent and his children to join you and your family for dinner and a special dessert.

A Biblical Example

    God's Word makes it very clear that, as Christians, we are to practice hospitality. (Hebrews 13:2, 1 Peter 4:9) This Christian discipline, when exercised generously and sacrificially, encourages fellow believers and shows God's love to those who do not know Him personally. By involving our children in this Christian discipline, we not only train them to extend hospitality themselves, but we also teach them to think beyond self to the needs of others.

    Consider an example of such hospitality from the Old Testament. In His directions for celebrating the Passovera Jewish holidayGod included an interesting and practical command. He told the people that they were to share their Passover lamb with another family if their household was too small to consume all of it by themselves. (Exodus 12:4) God wanted all of the lamb eaten and none of it left over to illustrate to us that Jesus, our Passover Lamb, is sufficient and that we are to partake of all of Him.

    But I also find God's directive to share the Passover celebration with another family to be extremely hospitable. In this very passage, God lays out for His people the terms for celebrating the first national holiday. How like our gracious God to suggest a party (albeit a solemn one) instead of just another family meal for four!

Kay Harms