Joni Eareckson Tada on Her Need for Jesus

 

 

    On a scorching afternoon in a nearly deserted Applebee's Restaurant, Joni Eareckson Tada is sharing her Coke and a life lesson with me. I have not tasted from the straw poking out of her red cup; this sharing is taking place in another way. "Just one more sip," she says. "I think I'm almost to the bottom." Lifting her beverage so she can grip the straw between her lips, I experience the nervous hesitation that accompanies inexperience aiding a quadriplegic. On the heels of my concern is an awesome awareness that Joniinternationally recognized Christian leaderneeds me. And herein lies the lesson.

    "I think half the time [God] breaks us so we ask for help and we experience koinoniaconnectedness to other peoplethat we wouldn't if we were solitary, isolated, and independent," Joni says. In an age and a culture so focused on self-reliance, she is shockingly forthright about her needs. "I didn't realize this dish would have so many green peppers in it," she tells me, contemplating her southwestern chicken and rice. "Could you be my pepper remover?" She makes the request without a hint of awkwardnessas if we often enjoy de-spiced meals together. "Most people hate asking for help but, boy, I enjoy it," she says, grinning. "I consider that it gives you the opportunity to serve me, which enriches you. And for me to be the person who facilitates that is such a kick." She refers to this as having a Philippians 2:4-5 mentality: "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Jesus Christ" (niv).

    This is a woman who understands a great deal about reliance on others, as she has counted on assistance for over half her life. A diving accident robbed Joni of the use of her arms and legs when she was a tender 17 years of age. She has accepted the aid of friends and family members since that day. Physical dependence has been thrust upon her, but Joni makes a deliberate effort to carry what she learns from her relationships with caregivers into her emotional and spiritual connections. "I'm not the kind of disabled person who will fight for independence. I'm a big fan of interdependencethings which bring us together and bind usinto which God then floods His Spirit, wisdom, insight, and understanding," Joni says. This concept is tangibly illustrated in her relationships. Her frequent co-author, Steve Estes, has been a friend and mentor for nearly 30 years. Judy Butler, Joni's assistant and traveling companion, has been a part of her ministry since its fledgling days at a Billy Graham Crusade in 1976. She has poured as much of herself into them as they have given back to her.

    Joni is quick to point out that she is no saint on a pedestal, though. In spite of the joy sharing Christlike servanthood with others brings, she finds herself frustrated at times by her physical limitations. "I struggle. I mean when my husband is sick and I can't be the one to tuck him in bed and bring him soup, I have to get other hands to help me . . . I just want so badly to do that myself," Joni admits. "But I can't. So God must have some wisdom there that I need to understand. And I can't resist that. I can't feel sorry for myself."

    Wisdom, like the morning sun, dawns slowly but dramati-cally. Learning from the apostle Paul, Joni has discovered the secret to contentment and strength. The power in her life stems from a recognition of her own limitationsher weakness to smile through another day as a quadriplegic. She recalls being in a posh New York hotel rest room and overhearing the admiration of conference attendees who longed for her joy and "put-togetherness."

    It would be easy to let people believe that she awakens every day with a song on her lips, but honest vulnerability is her hallmark, so she quietly describes what her average morning is like. "After Ken leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., I'm alone until I hear the front door open at 7:30 a.m. It's a friend coming to get me up. While I hear her make coffee, I usually pray, 'Oh Lord, my friend is about to give me a bath, get me dressed, sit me up in my chair, brush my hair and teeth, and send me out the door. But, Jesus, I don't have strength to face this routine one more time. I have no resources. I don't have a smile to take into the day. But you do. May I borrow yours? I urgently need you, Lord. I require you desperately."* Her confession is surprising and comforting all at once. Suddenly that pedestal"internationally recognized Christian leader"is gone, and Joni is simply another sister who beseeches her heavenly Father for daily bread.

    She finishes her story. "I turn my head on the pillow, and I give her a smile sent straight from heaven. It's not mine it's God's. Whatever joy you see today was hard won this morning."*

    Joni wears her vulnerability well and is careful to use her words to spotlight Jesus rather than her own difficulties and triumphs. "I never want to get to the point where I'm the focus. I don't want to be on a pedestal," she says intensely. "That doesn't win hearts for Christ. The thing that wins hearts is vulnerability and taking a deep breath to say 'This is what life is like.' The life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in Jesus." (Galatians 2:20) Ambassadorship for Christ is important to hera bit like being a princess, she says. After all, we are children of the King with a standard to uphold and a Father to represent. "God, may I finish well?" she prays. "Can I just make it to the finish line without doing something really dumb that brings shame to your name or stains your Gospel?" The plea to finish well is one she has heard expressed by James Dobson and discussed with Charles Colson over dinner. The notion originated with Paul, and she reads the passage with emphasis, "I consider my life worth nothing to me if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given methe task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace" (Acts 24:20niv). "Yep, that's what I want to do, right there," she says tapping her arm brace against the open book.

    "Good verse."

Tracy Hillwig

*Quotations taken from The God I Love by Joni Eareckson Tada (p.301). To purchase the book, please visit our bookstore.